Cliff, You Idiot
by Triscribe
Summary: Or, the one where Cliffjumper only gets a little blown up, rather than punctured and zombified. In which some things are the same, others are vastly different, but most importantly, Ratchet has someone else giving him cause to yell: "I NEEDED THAT!"


The thunderstorm was a big one, rain coming in tremendous sheets, bringing visibility down to mere feet. Only a handful of human drivers were out in it, keeping their emergency lights blinking and moving an inch at a time as they squinted at the road.

Good thing Cybertronians had other means of viewing their surroundings.

" _Great_ pick for your first night back, moron," a red Dodge Challenger muttered to himself as he drove along. "Wheedle the Doc into agreeing you can go for a drive, _insist_ on heading out even though you can _see_ the storm clouds, and top it all off by being too stubborn to call for a fragging groundbridge. Gah."

He kept up the complaints while cruising down the otherwise deserted highway, sensors keeping him oriented. After a little while, though, they picked up something else.

At first, the Transformer was just going to keep driving (after slowing down enough to mimic a human driver). But a tug at his spark when he started to pass the pedestrian had him stop.

If the others were allowed to bring humans into the base, then he could slagging well do this much.

"Hey!" He yelled out into the rain. "Need a ride?"

The teenager - thin, shivering, and soaked through - ignored him. As she kept walking, he rolled a little closer. Something about the kid seemed familiar, and after a moment he placed what it was.

"You go to school with Jack Darby, right?" The girl finally looked at him, eyes narrowed. "I promise I'm not a creep or anything - my partner's the one he got that motorcycle from."

"...Yeah, I know Jack." She looked both ways, sighed, and walked around to get in his passenger seat. "You mind dropping me off on Boardman Street?"

"Don't mind at all. But, I should warn you, this ain't exactly a normal car..."

The girl opened the door and started to slide inside, only to freeze when she realized no one sat behind the wheel. "What-?"

He carefully pulled the door closed, forcing her all the way in, and got the heaters turned up to full blast. "Hi, I'm Cliff."

"...Sierra," she finally replied. "Please tell me I didn't just get into a haunted car."

"Nah, nothing like that. My team and I work with the government - experimental tech and whatnot, including, drumroll please-"

"Remote controlled vehicles?" Even soaked through and dripping, Sierra pulled off the skeptical look almost as well as Arcee.

"You said it!" Cliff said. He set off again, gradually building up to a higher speed. "So tell me, what's a kid like you doing out in weather like this?"

Sierra huffed, shifting to stare out the window. Lightning lit up the desert, illuminating her face. "...Boyfriend took me out for a drive. We parked when the storm started, and he... tried to move things along faster than I wanted. When he didn't stop, I got out and started running."

"Good for you," Cliff told her. "Now, me personally, I tend to deck anybody who gets closer than I'd like, but getting away works just as well."

He registered that the kid was staring at his dashboard, incredulous.

"What? Did I not do that right?"

"N- no, that was... fine. I just, haven't heard anyone say running away is a good thing."

"Really? Isn't there a saying about running away to survive to rise with the dawn?" If Cliff were in root mode, he'd have scratched at his helm. "I think that's how it goes..."

"You're weird."

"So I've been told."

They lapsed into silence for a while, as Cliff picked a happy medium between going his earlier speed and the slow pace of a human driver. The warmth of his heaters clearly got to Sierra, as she relaxed into the seat, eyes half closed. Soon enough, they were turning onto the street she'd named, lined with various houses.

"Kid? Sierra? Which place is yours?" She roused, blinking a couple of times before pointing to one a couple lots away from the end of the road. Cliff pulled to a stop in front of it, but didn't unlock his doors.

Sierra tugged at the handle, frowning when it didn't open. "Hey, do you need to hit a button to let me out, or is this thing just stuck?"

"Is anybody else home, kid?"

Startled, she looked first at his dashboard, then out the window at the - obviously dark - house. "...No. My dad's out of town, and I guess Terri already left."

"Terri being...?"

"Maid."

"Ah."

Sierra continued to stare at her empty house for a minute, before huffing and tugging at the door handle again. "Are you gonna let me out or not?"

"I'm kinda leaning towards 'not', to be honest." Her eyes widened, and he hurried to continue. "Look, I know scrap-all about kids, but what little I've picked up from hanging around Jack and his friends the last few weeks includes the fact that you're not really supposed to leave them alone or they get into trouble."

Huffing, Sierra rolled her eyes. "Kids, sure, but teenagers-" She paused.

"You really wanna finish that sentence?"

"-okay, fine, point to you. But this isn't the first time I've been home alone, and I know it won't be the last. I appreciate the concern, but it's not like I've got anywhere else to go at the moment."

Cliff considered that for a moment. "...I probably wouldn't get in _too_ much trouble by letting you come crash at our base for the night."

Sierra stared.

"I mean, we've got a couch and table and a television set that Jack and the others use, and I know my boss was considering setting up a side room with some cots for them too." In the back of his processor, Cliff could already hear Ratchet yelling at him for bringing yet another human into their base, and Agent Fowler playing counterpoint, fussing about security breaches - but his inner rebel was too delighted at the possibility of getting his own squishy sidekick to care. Being stuck on berthrest and then confined to the silo for weeks on end meant that he had to watch as Arcee, Bulk, and Bee came and went with their new partners, and he'd be lying if he claimed there wasn't just a _twinge_ of jealousy in his spark.

It wasn't that he didn't think Arcee wouldn't share, and Jack seemed like a nice enough kid, but Cliff would _really_ like someone of his own to mentor.

"...Sure."

Startled out of his musings, Cliff bounced a little on his suspension. "Really?"

"Yeah. Just, can I go get a change of clothes first? I somehow don't think you'd have anything in my size..."

"Heh, yeah, you're right about that." He started to unlock the doors, but paused to say one more thing. "And if this is a trick to get me to let you out so you can go inside and not come back, that's okay too. Being sneaky and getting away is just as good as throwing a punch sometimes."

Sierra hesitated when the locks clicked, but then slid out and bolted up to her front door. Cliff settled in to park and powered down his engine, deciding to give her twenty minutes before he left.

And of course, halfway into that wait time, his comm chimed.

 _*Cliffjumper,*_ Ratchet growled when he answered. _*You should have been back by now.*_

"I know, Doc, and I'm sorry, but I had to take a bit of a detour 'cause of the rain." He checked again for Sierra, biting back a sign when his scanners came up negative. "Human kid was walking home in this mess, so I stopped to give her a ride."

Cliff could practically hear the medic's incredulity from the other end of the line. It was a good minute before he heard a sputter as Ratchet's processor kicked back into gear. _*I beg your pardon?! You broke protocol to give a human a RIDE?*_

"She was soaked through, Ratch! Didn't Raf say the other day that getting that wet and chilled is bad for humans?"

 _*Potentially, yes, but there's very little chance it does more than give them an unpleasant virus for a few days! That's no reason to break your cover-*_

"Relax, Doc, she thinks I'm a government drone controlling the car from another location."

 _*Hmph. Good.*_

"...But that's probably gonna change when we get back to base," Cliff added with a grin. Five minutes to spare, and he could sense Sierra locked her front door, wearing new clothes and a hooded sheet-thing, holding a lump that was probably an overnight bag underneath.

 _*WHAT!*_

"Oop, here she comes, see you in a bit Hatchet!"

 _*CLIFFJUMP-*_ He hastily cut off the comm connection before the medic's hysterics could _really_ start, opening the passenger door right as Sierra reached him.

"Just spoke to my team's unofficial second in command," he cheerily informed the girl as she got settled. "Fair warning, he's probably gonna yell at me when we get there, but I promise his wood is worse than his bite."

Sierra gave his dashboard an odd look. "I think you mean 'bark', not 'wood'."

"Oh. Did I get that one wrong too? Sorry, I'm still figuring out some of these English sayings." Which was a total lie, but he wanted something to help put her at ease.

"Well, you might be working on those, but your accent is perfect - I would have sworn you were American..."

"Nah, I'm from some place you've never even heard of. All my team is, which is why it's been kinda nice having Jack and the others hanging out with us - best way to acclimate to culture is by learning from the natives, after all."

Her bag situated on the floorboard, sheet-thing folded up out of the way, Sierra pulled her feet onto the seat in order to curl up, head leaning against the window. "How'd you guys meet them, anyway?"

"Ooh boy, _that_ is a story I do not mind telling, because I wasn't involved and therefore I'm the only one who doesn't look like any idiot. Anyway, my partner was down in Jasper a few weeks ago, playing hide and seek with some people who don't like us very much. At one point, she pulled into this fast food place's parking lot, and all of a sudden there's Jack Darby, admiring her ride and even taking a seat-"

"Oh my god!" Sierra bolted upright. "I was there! Me and Mandy! When the bike suddenly started up and took off with him screaming on it?"

"Yes!" Cliff started laughing. "Okay, so you probably know more about what happened there than I do!" Sierra put a hand to her mouth as she giggled along with him. "Well, _unfortunately,_ having him there made things a little more difficult for my partner. Our team's scout caught up to her, and they found a drainage causeway to lead the baddies into, away from other civilians. But of course, nothing's ever simple with us, and there was another kid playing down there-"

"Rafael Esquivel?"

"Yep - poor little guy was at the wrong place, wrong time. But, Jack at least came to his senses as soon as he was off my partner's ride, grabbed the kid and took off through one of the pipes that lets out there. By the time our guys won the fight, they'd gone and disappeared."

"But you clearly found them again..."

"Yep. Boss sent my partner and our scout to Jasper's high school the next day to wait for 'em. Of course, Jack had way more reservations over going with my partner than Raf did, and while she was arguing with him, _another_ kid saw and had to be brought along."

"Miko Nakadai, I'm guessing."

"Now if ever there was a girl who needed supervision at all times..." Cliff gave an over-dramatic sigh, getting Sierra to smirk. "Anywho. Since then, they've been regular commuters, coming to visit, study, even help us out on a few missions."

"Sounds cool," Sierra said. "And the government doesn't mind?"

"Weeell, our liaison was _not_ especially happy when he found out about the breach of secrecy, but after some convincing, he put them down on paper as our 'cultural assistants, translators, and interns'. Now they've got actual security clearances and whatnot. I could probably wrangle the same for you, if you'd like...?" He let the question dangle, giving Sierra time to think about it. They were almost to the silo when she spoke up.

"That- that sounds awesome. Not the sort of thing I could put on a college resume, probably, but it would sure beat trying to avoid Vince every afternoon. You're totally gonna be in big trouble over this though, aren't you?"

"Would totally be worth it," Cliff assured her. "I'm just getting over nearly being blown up, actually, so I need something slow to ease me back into missions. And since I've never been all that great at blending in anyway, my boss will more than likely sign off on driving you around as 'incognito practice'."

Sierra snorted. "Good to know. So where's- whoa!" She yelped as they went off road, heading straight for the silo. "Hey, uh, that's a mesa in case you didn't notice-"

"Hollow on the inside," Cliff said. "We're gonna go through the secret door in a sec, just hold tight."

The girl kept quiet when the tunnel door opened up for them, eyebrows climbing as they went deeper inside. Her jaw dropped when they emerged into the main bay, Ratchet and Optimus waiting. "Uh?"

"Oh, right - _I_ never actually said I was a remote controlled car, those were your words." Cliff pulled to a stop and opened his door. "C'mon, out ya get." Clearly in shock, Sierra slowly grabbed her stuff and exited. As soon as she was clear, he transformed, glad to be able to properly smile down at the kid. "We're really robots from another planet. And my full name is Cliffjumper, by the way. Nice to properly meet you."

 _Author's Note: Would I like to add more to this? Of-slagging-course. Will I? Who the frag knows. So, for now, I'ma gonna mark it as Complete, but that may be subject to change in future._


End file.
